An aborted ‘interview’ with Aphex Twin, circa the 2005 Analord series
In early 2006, I was foolish enough to attempt an email interview with Richard D James, AKA Aphex Twin, just as he released Chosen Lords, a 10-track CD album distillation of his then-recent 41-track Analord series, released only on 12″ vinyl.
I just had a quick look at this Wikipedia entry, and it says that these three comments on this archived analogue v digital barney on the Planet Mu forum was the only time that the Cornish One entered into public conversation about these releases. Well, that’s not completely true, so in the spirit of completism, I present this unedited email, which I eventually received in response to 17 slightly embarrassing questions I speculatively sent to him via his publicist at the time. (In my defence, I dashed them off because I didn’t really expect to get any answers.)
Don’t get too excited, though, her reply to me started thus: “afx questions. i will buy you a beer if you can make any sense of this. sigh.” I managed to strip some of the more intelligible quotes from it for a short piece in the back of Dazed & Confused, smiled wryly and buried it in my archives, only to stumble across it the other day – there is sense in there if you persevere.
(Re-upped from my old Blogspot page)
A few ANSWERS FROM Richard D James.
1. Analogue is to digital as what is to what?
composer is to journalist
2. No, really – what’s the appeal of all these analogue synths? Is it the pleasure you get from working with them, or is it in the unique feel they have for the end listener?
There is only so much numerical music making that I then to take before obtaining cravings for something of truths to employ. The only true thing about the computers touches the keyboard and the static head on the screen. It helps when there are samples of true things to a certain extent. The fact that the crash of a computers is the only human thing about them. I count our brains am made to act one on the other with the other human ones and if we are on our own only for too a long time we start to go from biscuits. The manufacture of the music only on the Digital Equipment is nice during one moment, as to leave on holiday by yourself is nice during one moment whereas you beseech interaction, making ways on your clean obtains pretty synths insulated and similar are like my boy friends, they are unforeseeable like my best friends and need constant attention, they have certain characteristic odors, you must touch them in a special way to benefit the best from them. Its why I obtain the end of support finished so much fetishistic, its gathering taste of the people.
3. Are those words on “Crying In Your Face”?
supportive measuring is how I`d like to think of myself as a wordless twot who doesnt even know he can exist unless otherwise expressed to preference by other owners of products of the feline variety tell me otherwise,now I think you should agree to destroy your insane questions even though you were nice enough to ask them directly to me with great bravery.
4. Bear suits are excellent. Discuss.
Bringing to bear on people what you want like certain physical actions from a transduction of an email when and where you want them to can only be described as not wanting to do to ones self as to what other people would have one to do onto other peoples friends who know you but only by means of the transmundane time-realm but altogether in a hairy almost non interactive squarepushery manifesto way.
5. Did electronic / dance music reach its natural conclusion with drill’n’bass? Did this have anything to do with your current musical direction?
Id be a liar if i wasnt going to horse answer your question in an altogether truthful symbiotic musical mindsetted way but to be honest with you at the end of the earwig day and after ive begun to fully focus on the ocean ,we are music listeners riding in the same boat of cack. To want to draw a conclusion at any point can only mean that one has given up and is tired of journalism and has become ready to watch daytime tv all throughout ones numb day.
6. Have you ever sold any of your own records on eBay?
No but I did buy my own footprint on some lino that I left behind at a party.
7. What made you decide to release last year’s Analord series on such a quaint format as 12″ vinyl?
Because of ones failure to realize that they are in denial of the most sympathetic sound input method to the brain they must delude themselves in the hope that they can be forgiven of their classic mistake,its very touching and can remind us all of children playing outside in rivers so i wouldnt be too worried about this,just swallow your pride and move sideways.
8. What criteria did you apply in whittling down the 41 Analord tracks to 10 for the album release? Was this, at least in part, a reaction to the notion that Drukqs might have worked better as a single LP?
minimalism is favored by the tired people who bevel distribution with onlslaught of 4,500 new squelches in 6 minutes that require a reduction in the human working hours required by the listener to lifes made easier of the variety of the store of hmv but he is also useful in not disapointation of the wax that gathers human beings of the love although the defensive being is not in favor of my option..
9. What is the biggest lie you have told to the press (be honest now)?
to be honest with you that i am the aphex twinny pics.
10. Will the film of Neuromancer remain forever stuck in development hell? Had you given much thought to what you might create for the soundtrack, should it ever have come to that?
because of the film of Neuromancer and its remaining always in order, attacked in the hell of developmentosis, I had to take a lot in consideration and became confused to that which you could generate for the sonorous column, you would have it to never come to that one?
11. When you’re out and you see someone in a sweaty Warp T-shirt making a rabid beeline for you, what do you do?
take a picture of them to add them to my fan database then ask their name.
12. Did you sample the sound of a filing cabinet being moved for “Alberto Balsalm”?
ha thats a good guess no it was opening a lid on an ammunition box with a wireless microphone inside.
13. What’s your favourite computer virus?
ill attach it to this email for you.
14. What is the greatest piece of music that you heard in the last year or so? Or do you still prefer your music above anyone else’s?
yes some new things ive just made i spose.
I havnt heard much this year but probably this album i just got
Bernard Bonnier-casse-tete 
15. What’s the silliest request you’ve had recently, remix or otherwise?
Outkast offered me a new Bugatti EB110 in exchange for 2 remixes.
16. Can you see yourself retiring the Aphex Twin / AFX moniker at some point, and moving on to something completely different? What challenges are there still out there for you?
If I held to use the Wortaphex aphexsysteme me would so finally complain, it was it I stops it to use bankruptcy to make.
17. Would you consider appearing in Celebrity Big Brother? Perhaps you could have a go at the theme tune while you’re there.
Yes I would go on there, demolish the whole set after working out all the weak points then cut all the camera cables with the wire cutter i would have sneaked in.